There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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