she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
