I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
