this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You may now shotgun with the bride
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
