anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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