OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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