I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
