also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
