Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
