i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
