dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
handjob tips. give me some.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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