erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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