So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
