Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
