Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
