I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
