I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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