O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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