I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
