don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
