Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
