there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
