The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
