When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
