Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
