Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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