I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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