is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
