Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
