This girl is more easily done than said...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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