were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
