Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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