Swine flu. Run for my life!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
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