I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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