no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize