i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
