I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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