I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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