Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
