and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
