I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
