So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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