Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is wine microwaveable?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
