God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
