he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
