16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
