At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
