i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
