Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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