Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
