No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
